Macca-Fest 2003

[Chris Speers]

Ok. Macca has to think touring is a bit of drag all that traveling and stuff. Hell, it's a hard job.

I propose a "Macca-Fest" each year around his Birthday June 18th. Fans would converge somewhere logisitically possible like a Wembley Stadium or a Southern California type of site. And there for a two week period - Macca would perform concerts for fans at a civic auditorium of approx 15K. The civic center would host say ten or twelve concerts for fans. We know he doesn't need the money but wouldn't it be cool for fans to congregate at a central area where Macca can chill and hang in the Cali sunshine (smoking weed and riding waves) while Macca gets all his performing jollies off and the fans get to see the performer. So, Macca gets the best of touring (Playing to people, feeling the love) without the travel and without the hassle.

But, the Macca Fest is just serious fans like on this forum. I propose that only real fans of Macca get to attend (Receipts of CD proof of purchasing Wild Life, Red Rose speedway, Mary had a little lamb, Back to the egg, MaccaII or passing a difficult MAcca quiz is requirement for entry). So, Macca isn't playing his greatest hits package (not that there isn't anything wrong with that) but that we get the following..

Each of the 12 concerts has a different theme
Macca playing the best of Driving Rain/Flaming Pie in its enterity
Early 70's Band on the run night
A London Town/Back to the egg night
A tug of war night
A BEatles Pyschedlic night
Beatles Rock n Roll Night
A Concert of acoustic only
An early Beatles show /Late 50's covers show

The whole two week period can be a Macca celebration (look alike bands, Macca convention, Macca ex-sidemen, Macca appearance, Macca trivia, Macca's brother). We can even have a special dunking night for charity where people throw a ball and get to dunk Macca Forum celebrities like Ram, Liam, Steve, Mike, Megs, etc. Geoff Baker could appear and we can grovel at his feet and pray for a Macca appearance. The man himself can come down as we see many on this forum worship at his feet.

We can have a special charity event for the Heather charities.

There can be a contest where we can throw rocks at King Kameamea and other folks who are Macca haters.[^]

[Chris Speers]

Ok. Macca has to think touring is a bit of drag all that traveling and stuff. Hell, it's a hard job.

I propose a "Macca-Fest" each year around his Birthday June 18th. Fans would converge somewhere logisitically possible like a Wembley Stadium or a Southern California type of site. And there for a two week period - Macca would perform concerts for fans at a civic auditorium of approx 15K. The civic center would host say ten or twelve concerts for fans. We know he doesn't need the money but wouldn't it be cool for fans to congregate at a central area where Macca can chill and hang in the Cali sunshine (smoking weed and riding waves) while Macca gets all his performing jollies off and the fans get to see the performer. So, Macca gets the best of touring (Playing to people, feeling the love) without the travel and without the hassle.

But, the Macca Fest is just serious fans like on this forum. I propose that only real fans of Macca get to attend (Receipts of CD proof of purchasing Wild Life, Red Rose speedway, Mary had a little lamb, Back to the egg, MaccaII or passing a difficult MAcca quiz is requirement for entry). So, Macca isn't playing his greatest hits package (not that there isn't anything wrong with that) but that we get the following..

Each of the 12 concerts has a different theme
Macca playing the best of Driving Rain/Flaming Pie in its enterity
Early 70's Band on the run night
A London Town/Back to the egg night
A tug of war night
A BEatles Pyschedlic night
Beatles Rock n Roll Night
A Concert of acoustic only
An early Beatles show /Late 50's covers show

The whole two week period can be a Macca celebration (look alike bands, Macca convention, Macca ex-sidemen, Macca appearance, Macca trivia, Macca's brother). We can even have a special dunking night for charity where people throw a ball and get to dunk Macca Forum celebrities like Ram, Liam, Steve, Mike, Megs, etc. Geoff Baker could appear and we can grovel at his feet and pray for a Macca appearance. The man himself can come down as we see many on this forum worship at his feet.

We can have a special charity event for the Heather charities.

There can be a contest where we can throw rocks at King Kameamea and other folks who are Macca haters.[^]

[megs]

that would be so sweet if that would actually happen, only for die hard fans though not the people that buy like tickets to his how b/c they only like 1 or 2 of his songs[8D]

[Chris Speers]

Don't forget the Macca ****tail party where Macca hosts Mike, Liam, Ram, Steve, Megs, and several other gold-standard forum members are waiting. A sign reads "Paul McCartney welcomes Macca Forum Members"

MACCA-Celebration

Paul walks into the room as the Macca Forum members gasp in shock.

Geoff Baker: Ladies and gentlemen....Mr. Paul McCartney..

Macca: (thumbs up)...Hello loves..

Claps are heard. Several forum members including Ram and Steve begin to nearly pass out from the thrill.

Macca: .I'm pysched for this...

Mike: So are we...Mr. McCartney

NEarly all the forum members stand with their mouth's agape. Nobody says anything as the room heats up with nervous tension.

Macca: (to Geoff) Happens all the time...(in sotto voice)...Got any grass...

Geoff laughs nervously...

Geoff Baker: Say something...people....

Ram begins to drool....Mike wipes his mouth with a hankerchef as Paul grimaces and frowns.

Mike: (nervous) Thanks for the honor of being in your presence

Macca: Thanks for the forum...I read all the comments...Every one..

Mike: All of them (Nervously fingering his collar)...Not King Kameamea!

Macca: The sob boo'd me from the 3rd row! Stupid git!! Somebody tell the King that i forget the words to You never give me your number on purpose..

Mike: Paul...(nervous)...You don't read all the posts do you?

Macca: So...(grabbing an apple)...You really think Silvio is gonna get whacked on the Sopranos, Mike...We all know it's gonna be Paulie Walnuts..(pumping fist)...Yo, Paulie...

Geoff Baker ushers in more members of the forum. In his stiff upper British accent, people begin to start to warm up a little and some of the tension goes away.

Geoff Baker: Paul...here are a few folks who would like to meet you. These are charter members of Mike's Macca-Forum who have posted over 3,000 times..This is Ram...

Ram: (barely able to speak) Me like you

Geoff Baker: And Liam...

Macca: (looking at him with a nervous grin)..OK?...How's University..Liam? I hope this posting isn't impacting your GPA? Do you know on Post number 2,456 you said that i was "A little hoarse vocally on that Wings Over America show in 1976"...I don't think i was...

Geoff Baker: Yes, Liam, MPL has found that your depiction isn't accurate..

Liam: What? You read my post....Paul...Paul.

Several female forum members kiss Macca like fans from a hard days' night.

Macca: And Ram on post number 3,214, did you mean it when you said you were sick of the same song each tour?

Ram: I...

Macca: Do you know how hard it is to rehearse those songs and get it right? Huh do you?

Ram standing in the corner looking at his nails...

Ram: I'm sorry...

Macca: Everytime i play - it's the highlight of your life! Do you want to talk about pressure?? Huh? And where's Speers!!

Chris Speers tries to hide underneath a couch but is immediately lifted off his feet by Geoff Baker and Mike..and shoved toward an angry Paul McCartney


MAcca: Speers!

Chris Speers walk slowly and bows at Macca's feet..

Chris Speers: I'm not worthy..

Macca: You self-critical little punk! How would you like it if i came down to your job and critized your accounting entries and your ledgers!! Do i do that? Huh?

Chris Speers: I'm sorry...Macca..

Macca: I'm just a guy like you...

Chris Speers grovels at Macca's feet...

Macca: Don't you have anything better to do than critique the colouring of my hair? Huh? I got a young wife and i don't have time to play...You little peck$#!

Chris Speers: You are the greatest! I've worshipped you since i was 2!

Macca: I'm not your friend or your father..

Chris Speers: I Love you , man..

Ram: I Love you, Paul!

Macca: I got something for you...Speers...

Speers feeling the love jumps up and smiles. Macca holds out his hands as if he is going to give Speers a hug.

Macca tightens his fist and bollo punches Speers to the ground..

Macca: A little Liverpool scruff for your as$...(Spitting on Speers)..

Geoff Baker kicks Speers in the gut..as several MPL employees escort Speers out.

Macca: Now, where's all my lovely fans? I've got a little acoustic concert for ya...

All the forum members begin to clap.

Macca: oh, take it easy, luv...This one's called Rocky Racoon...

Paul plays the song as Forum members swoon with delight and awe. When he's done, a fan asks..

Fan: Can you play Winter Rose/Love Awake?

Paul stands up wide-eyed....

Ram: Can you play Ram on?

Paul is astounded at the knowledge...

Paul: I'll play all night for you guys....as long as you keep calling out requests....

Geoff Baker stands up and murmurs softly...."Merry X-mas, People"

[Ram1]

Haha, brilliant, Chris! Me like! Me like! LOL

[Chris Speers]

Macca-Forum 2003
Somewhere in Southern California
The Hilton

George Martin is setting up a conference room. Several members of Macca forum attend.

Ram: Hello Mr. Martin..

George Martin: Hello Ram...Listen, Mike, Will you help me?

The Abbey Road mixing board is seen and George Martin is holding a box called Sgt. Pepper master (Keep in a cool place attached to the box)....Mike is wearing white doctor's glove as he takes the Sgt. Pepper master out of the box.

Liam: It's the Sgt. Pepper Master! (Screaming)..My god!

Mike nearly drops the master as he puts a finger to his lips..

Speers: It's the Sgt. Pepper Master (jumping up and down..)

Geoff Baker arrives and Martin nods hello..He points to Speers angrily and frowns.

A sign is seen in the Ballroom

Serious Macca Fans Only - If you don't have Zoo Gang - Stay out!
Admittance to those who have heard Rudolph the Red Nosed Reggae

Other wise Stay out!

Baker: are we ready to start, Gentlemen?

Geoff Emerick and George Martin are sitting on two high chairs in the middle of the conference room.

Attached in the middle of the ballroom is the Abbey Road Mixing board from 1967. it is in pristine condition. it has an almost otherwordly glow.

Steve begins to weep at the site of the Abbey Road mixing board. Several McCartney fans bow down and kiss the mixing board as if it was a station of the cross at Lourdes. Ram touches the board and smiles. He gets a nasty look from George Martin. Several fans are seen staring at the board in wonder of its magic power. Ram refuses to move his hand off the board until MArtin slaps his hand away.

Martin: (like a schoolmaster)..No touching..

Ram removes his hand quickly. He looks frigthened as he raises his hand towards his eyes. His hand gives off a "heavenly whitish glow" like Indiana Jones when he approached the Temple of Doom. Liam begins to shriek as Ram hand trembles..

Liam: My god...it's a miracle...

Ram opens his hand and we see four Beatles walking across Abbey Road in glorious technicolour across his hand - like stigmata...Mike grabs Ram's shaking hand in shock as his voice trembles in fear..

Mike: My god....It's a Rock n roll miracle..

A woman begins to sob uncontrollably...

Ram points at his hand in shock..

Speers: Hey..(looking at the stigmata)...Paul doesn't even have his sandals on....And Ringo is dressed like a minister...

Liam: That's means he's dead cause people are buried barefoot in most Eastern cultures...
(staring at his hand)...
Speers: Why is Yoko in the Abbey Road shot?

Ram: My god, It's Yoko ! (angered at the breach of Beatle authenticity)...Hey, My stigmata isn't authentic. Damn ...stigmata..

Ram grimaces....

Mike: It's a miracle..but not an authentic Beatle Mircale...

Ram: Aw, shucks....


Geoff Emerick and George Martin start to play the master tape of Sgt. Pepper and take out the guitar, bass, and drums from the Sgt. Pepper title track. We hear only the voices of the four Beatles..

Mixing Board gives off a glow as the VU meters begin to jump up and down...Acapella singing sends shivers down the spine of every room in the room. Even the normally cool George MArtin wipes a tear from his eye as Geoff Emerick grabs a tissue.

"We're Sgt. Pepper's lonely hearts Club band"...

Several forum members begin to nod with approval. A voice is heard from the distance....It's a surprise....Nobody can make out the face in the back.....but the voice...

Paul: (singing wonderfully)...."We hope you have enjoyed the show"...



Paul turns on the lights and proceeds to give a workshop on the making of Pepper.

Paul: I'll know play you the version of She's Loving Home with just me vocal and bass...

Several people begin to pant like thirsty dogs.

Paul: After that, we'll play you the master of Abbey Road

[Chris Speers]

You may want to move this off Macca-tours. Sorry - people probably want to read the tour and not this stuff. My bad[xx(]

[megs]

dude trust me we want to read it, this is stuff we fantasize about[8D]

[Liam OSM]

Did I really say he sounded a little hoarse on WOA?

[scrodfish256]

Brilliant chris. LMAO[:D]