what kind of person are you?

[chris]

my father had colon cancer a year or two back. when I found out, i cried like a baby (not in front of anyone, mind you, but all alone, where no one could see...you know, the manly kind of crying) and i got my thoughts together, and i called him up and told him what a great dad he was. i told him how important he was to me...and my kids. i told him that on the day i met who was eventually going to be my wife...that when asked what i wanted to do with my life, i told her i wanted to be like my dad. that's as far as i got before he said what he had was no big deal. and he was going to go thru chemo like a good little soldier and do everything the doctors told him to do. he was never sad about it. in fact, he often had to cheer up those around him. but he beat it. and he not only did it with a smile on his face, he did it with enthusiasm. when it was over i told him that he made cancer his bitch. i'm a lot like my dad. and i'd love to think I would handle it like he did. but I'm not in a position to guarantee that i would. but i will offer this...attitude is everything. positive feelings can carry you a long way. let's hope we can all face adversity with the same strength.


hypothetical...you find out you are sick. real sick. in fact, dr says you have 6 months to live...what do you do? by my count, you have two choices...wallow in pity, and mourn your last remaining days...or live your life with color and joy, appreciating every last smell, sound, voice and face you see. i know i would like to think i would do the latter...but maybe we just don't know how we would react til we are in that situation.

so i ask you...what kind of person are you?

[mr h atom]

6' 2..a little balding...

hey, wait...sorry (not really )

i, too, have faced this several times: dad & mother-in-law (whom i get along with great !) came out well; mom & father-in-law... ...

i'd like to think i'm the optomist: if you haven't figured it out yet, i almost always lead with a joke...

but, i find myself scared, and with moments of rage, at the inconsistancy of it all quite often...

as i and my parents that are left age even more with each passing day (and as my kids grow up and move away to big cities...) i absolutely hate it when the phone rings...until i know everything is alright...

i've never really like bullies...and cancer is a bully...so i'd like to think i'd stand tall, like good ol' john wayne, and fight the good fight...but deep inside...i am not afraid to say that i am a big ol' scaredy cat and i'm faking the rest really well

i turn the big 50 in a few months, and the wife is counting the days with insane glee until she can set up that fabled doctors visit all us old fogies gotta do then....so, guess that next river will be crossed soon...

let's hope for bubbling, happy stream...not roiling rapids...barring the unforseen, THEN i'll know what i'm truly made of, huh ?

yeesh...i think i'm growing into a worry wart, at least...do they make something (legal) for that ?

[chris]

i too, big h, am just scared of something going wrong. health wise, that is. but i am not really that scared to die. the only thing scary about that is leaving my 3 kids without a dad. i find that horrifying. having said that...i am probably going to fatally stab myself in the thigh while running with a fork because my food was ready.

ever notice how no one notices that you can hide what you really mean by trying to be funny?

when i was just a wee bit younger (turned 44 earlier this year) i would never...ever...have gone to the doctor. why? because he might tell me something was wrong, silly. but how dumb is that? i do go now. and they've found a thing here and there. all taken care of in good measure. but what if i hadn't gone?...

you said something wise..."i am not afraid to say that i am a big ol' scaredy cat and i'm faking the rest really well"...it's okay to be scared. like i said, i am too. but if you are good enough at pretending not to be...no one can really tell the difference.

too bad no one else checks these NPC threads. might just be you and i are capable of having unraunchy, ungross conversations after all. almost makes me feel like a grown up.

[mr h atom]

well...i'm firmly convinced PW is watching....he just never responds !

probably can't figure out the big words....oops, did i say that ?

i go when i feel the need to, never really bothered me one way or the other...i'm certainly not scared of what he has to say...i, too, would rather know sooner than later...

it's all the rest of the stuff in the big, bad world that i can't do anything about but try and prepare the wee ones for and hope it sinks in without geting too over-dramatic that makes me shiver

[mi]

hypothetical...you find out you are sick. real sick. in fact, dr says you have 6 months to live...what do you do? by my count, you have two choices...wallow in pity, and mourn your last remaining days...or live your life with color and joy, appreciating every last smell, sound, voice and face you see. i know i would like to think i would do the latter...but maybe we just don't know how we would react til we are in that situation.

so i ask you...what kind of person are you?

Good question, I would also like to believe I'd do the latter, but I'm afraid I wouldn't. Just like you said - I'd be more afraid for my child than to myself, especially because he's too young to understand the meaning of illness and death. A few years ago I read a book of a woman who survived the holoucaust and raised children who were left orphans after it. In on place she described the difference between child's and adult's suffering - "A child does not understand WHY he suffers"! I never appreciated, until now, how true it is! Remember how Paul said George Harrison was laughing and joking even in his last days...and that reminds me of the greatest and dearest man I ever knew, who passed away from lung cancer - that was my highschool history teacher. Not only that he never smoked, he was famous for always eating healthy and exercising and everything. He and I had a special bond, since he was the reason I studied history in college. Some of my fondest memories are the times I went to show him my essays and my graduation diploma, and how pleased and proud he was! I last saw him a couple of months before he died, and the saddest thing is, the last words he said to me - with what little voice he had left - were "I'm kind of busy today, but if you come some other time we'll have some more time to catch up". And, well... that other time never came. I met his widow in a memorial service my highschool held in his honour - that was amazing, the woman was a complete stranger to me, but I just came over and hugged her without a word! First time I've ever done anything like that... guess true love makes you do those things.

[chris]

Mi, that was an emotional and very personal story to share. Thank you.

[mi]

Yeah, he really was one of a kind. Most of the teachers I had were horrid! Our whole educational system just sucks, teachers earn very little, so they have very little motivation to do their job properlly. He was the kind of teacher who made you want to study. He just loved his subject, and more than that - he loved teaching it, passionately. The chances of finding a teacher like that here are one in a million. I was fortunate enough to study with him for two years... amazing, how the good ones always go first.