Lingering question about independence and free will.

[Derek70]

I wanted to share something with yall, but i don't quite know how to put it.
I was on a message board, and we were talking about independence and being married, and i told my situation in life and i got a cruel response "If anyman can not be independant and provide for himself, even for a legitimate reason, then he should just grow old alone and die a virgin." that really hurt me, but it made me realize..that's how society thinks not with words but with actions (or lack of). So i decided to get a Christian point of view and it basicly says the same thing. Here's the part of the article that really enlightened me:
"Some have singleness thrust upon them. Baptists idolise family. "Ours is a family church." "Let’s pray for our children." "Come as a family." But seldom, if ever, "Singles only." Celibacy among us is not easy!
Looking for help in writing this article I examined the very best Study Bible./1 I found lots of good articles on "women", "men", "family" and "marriage" as well as hundreds on different jobs and professions - but not one on singleness! Let Protestant pastors and teachers confess, we have made the "harder path" more difficult still by our silence.
Many people who would love to be married "have not found the right person". Lots of them are so attractive, that onlookers can only wonder what is wrong with all their contemporaries. Some of these are "called" to singleness but have not yet heard or accepted that call.
In many cases circumstances have conspired to produce a single. Caring for a family member, illness, and many other factors can make marriage difficult or impossible. (In this article I am not dealing with the singleness which comes after marriage - bereavement, separation and divorce raise a different set of questions.)
These kinds of "enforced" singleness can be saddening, even embittering. Yet God does, on occasion, use force to get his way. Have you never prayed "your will be done"? Perhaps it is?"
What do yall think? Is there some truth to that?
That's when i asked one of my Christian friends, "What about free will?" he said We only have free will about what we do, not what happens to us" That makes sense, i guess. I just needed to get this out. It's really about "free will" verses "happenstance". (if i'm using the word right.)

[james1985]

Well, if a church, or any organisation for that matter, doesn't treat single people the same way as families, then you should stay as far away from it as possible.

Afraid I can't really help you with your spiritual questions, though. I don't believe in anything, I'm in the "stuff just happens" camp. So try and enjoy the ride as best you can and don't worry about it all too much

[jgkojak]

Well- I believe completely in free will, and that there is no master plan-- the universe is in motion using the laws of physics, we exist within that universe and that's it- there is no divine hand guiding each and every movement or "making" certain things happen to certain people.

That is also why what people have told you is complete B.S. There is no rule that says you have to be this way or that way in order to find love or get married. That said, being married is REALLY hard, and there are some people I know who just aren't cut out for it-- that's not a knock or a negative, its just how they're wired.